this ain't livin': Beyond the Binary: Transition

December 25, 2010

The medical community doesn’t really recognise nonbinary gender in general, and there’s resistance to it in some sectors of the transgender community. Among people who aren’t binarist, there’s a lack of understanding about what it means to be nonbinary, and many people think ‘oh, they don’t need to transition.’ This isn’t the result of bigotry, simply ignorance, because the numbers of out nonbinary people are relatively low and we are so diverse; people interacting with me, for example, cannot and should not take me as representative of all nonbinary people. We ourselves, trapped in a highly binary culture, are not always sure about the need for transition. Some questions I get asked a lot by nonbinary people looking for help and support are ‘can I transition?’ ‘do I need to transition?’ ‘how do I transition?’
I know that my body is not in alignment with my gender. I want to transition. But I can’t. I cannot access hormones and surgery because nonbinary people are not recognised and there isn’t a standard when it comes to talking about transitioning for us. And I myself get tangled in binary ideas about gender performance, like feeling guilty about the fact that I usually wear women’s clothing because that’s what fits this body. Feeling bad when I femme up because obviously I’m not a girl so I shouldn’t do girly things like wearing skirts and dresses. Feeling like I have to perform my gender at all times or I’m a fake, even though there is no established and accepted way to perform nonbinary gender; in a world where gender performance is everything, I can’t find my lines, the set, or my costume. When I interact with my body, I know that it feels wrong to me but it’s hard to articulate how, and if I discussed the things about my body that I want to change with a doctor, I would probably be slapped with a psychiatric diagnosis, rather than being supported with transition.

(Source: se-smith)

6:48am | URL: http://tmblr.co/Z8WIPy2IScOY

(Notes: 66)